It’s a lie.**
There’s no such thing as work-life balance. And more importantly, there doesn’t need to be. Work is part of life. Parenthood is part of life. So are relationships, ambition, and that yearning to climb mountains or simply feel the crunch of dirt beneath the wheels of your mountain-bike. All the good, all the bad. In fact, everything you could possibly experience. That’s what life can offer. The struggle isn’t about balancing isolated components. It’s about aligning everything to serve one purpose: living fully and authentically.
The False Idol of Balance
The societal narrative urges us to segment ourselves: worker here, father there, partner somewhere else - as if these aren’t parts of one coherent human being. This compartmentalisation forces men into impossible choices, fuelling guilt no matter the decision. Miss the client meeting? You feel less competent. Skip the family dinner? You feel like a bad partner or dad. Put off adventure and physical vitality? You’re left staring at a shell of who you once were.
This relentless balancing act breaks men, convincing us to pursue impossible expectations rather than accept that life’s messiness can be lived meaningfully just as it is, as it comes.
Work Is part of Life (And So Is Everything Else)
We’ve been taught to view work as something more fulfilling that it usually is. At times, it may feel like the enemy, a soulless activity sapping energy away from the “real life” of family, hobbies, and peace. This dichotomy is artificial. Work is a thread in the rich tapestry of life. You’re not merely working to pay bills or chase prestige; you’re contributing, creating, problem-solving, providing.
The question isn’t how to balance work against the rest of life but how to integrate it into a larger story—your story. Success in corporate life doesn’t need to diminish your home life or personal passions. If everything revolves around your life’s purpose—not society’s judgment—you begin building alignment instead of battling disconnection.
Choose Meaning, Not Perfection
When was the last time you stood under a vast, open sky—away from emails and daycare drop-offs—and just felt your heartbeat? Felt alive? Odds are you long for that connection to something raw and grounding because you’ve been hustling so hard you’ve become severed from yourself.
This yearning isn’t separate from your roles; it enriches them. The adventure-seeking part of you reminds your family that life is more than deadlines and screens. The capable provider within you brings stability, not because of the number on your paycheck, but because of the unshakable man behind it.
What you must reject is the notion that you’ll ever “perfect” this blend. A meaningful life isn’t without friction. It’s full of trade-offs, imperfect attempts, and vulnerability. What matters is that you commit to what gives you meaning and invest in it unapologetically. Some days that’s chasing excellence in the office, building decent teams to hitting targets. Other days, it’s walking hand-in-hand with your spouse, or teaching your child the joy of the outdoors.
Let Life Lead
Stop obsessing over balance. The only real question is: what serves the man you are? Maybe that means scaling back professional ambitions or pushing harder at work to gain freedoms elsewhere. Maybe it’s building rituals—date nights, father-son hikes, solo trips—that anchor you amidst the more confrontational aspects of life.
Imagine a long hike. You can’t control the elements; you adapt. In the wilderness, there’s no clear “balance” between trail, summit, or homeward journey—just decisions in service of one shared goal: to keep going. To live fully in every step.
The Final Push (that perpetually reoccurs)
You are not a collection of isolated duties and dreams. You are a whole man, fully alive in his struggles and triumphs. By rejecting the myth of x/y balance and by committing to living on your terms, you’re not just surviving; you’re thriving wherever you put yourself. And in that, you’ll find something far better than balance.
You’ll find peace.
**
We can prove it:
Work-life balance means: work = life
But we also know the deeper truth: life > work
You can’t have both.
QED.
Looking forward to the Fields Medal.
